After the battle of Philippi, Antony went east to squeeze money out of various kings and just to squeeze Cleopatra, while poor Octavian got the shittiest job in Rome – taking land away from Italian citizens and giving it to retiring soldiers. This made him no friends. Was he set up to fail? And why did Antony’s brother become a major pain in the ass? And why did Octavian’s soldiers throw rocks at Fulvia’s clitoris?