* By the time news of Caius’ death had reached Rome it was some time in late March, 4 CE.
* Aug mourned but also hurried to plan for the future.
* Of course, he didn’t have many options left.
* Julia and Agrippa had one son left – Agrippa Postumus.
* Or Aggy P as I like to call him.
* Bookies at the time had the odds of his survival dropping to 1:25 if he was also adopted by Aug.
* Imagine that.
* Aug comes to you and says “look kid, how would you like to be the next Mr Big?”
* And you’re like “FUCK OFF OLD MAN”.
* I’ve seen what happens to people who train to take over.
* They all end up dead.
* Aggy P was only 15 and hadn’t yet taken the toga virilis.
* But there was also Germanicus, the eldest son of Drusus and Antonia Minor, who was herself the youngest daughter of Mark Antony and Octavia Minor, Augustus’ sister.
* Which makes Germanicus, or Germs, Augustus’ grand-nephew?
* Which is the same relationship Octavian had to Julius Caesar.
* He was 18 and had a knack for the crowd like his father.
* Suetonius claims Aug thought seriously about naming Germs his heir but decided against it.
* He was probably too young.
* As usual he seems to have ignored the husbands of his nieces and grand-nieces.
* I have a clip of him talking about it actually.
* GODFATHER CARLO
* But of course there was still one guy who was old enough and had experience – Tiberius.
* Velleius Paterculus, early first century AD: ‘But fortune, which had snatched away the hope of the great name [of Caesar], had already restored to the commonwealth her greatest bulwark . . . Caesar Augustus did not delay for any length of time; for he had no need to hunt for one to choose, but simply to choose one of obvious eminence.’
* Velleius Paterculus was a contemporary historian.
* Twice consul, former son-in-law, former tribunicia potestas, probably the most distinguished living commander.
* He’d been on Rhodes for 8 years and and back for the last 2 years.
* He got back around the time of the death of Lucius.
* Since then he’s kept a pretty low profile.
* Instead of moving back into his old house – which was first Pompey’s and then Mark Antony’s – he moved to one of Maecenas’ villas on the edge of the city.
* Apart from taking his son Drusus to the Temple of Mars Ultor to get his toga virilis, he’s completely avoided public life.
* So in effect he’s been off the public stage now for ten years.
* Nearly half his adult life.
* But once again it seems as though Aug isn’t looking for a single person to be his successor.
* Like Lt. Aldo Rain, he’s looking to put together a special team.
* ALDO (under “I”)
* He knew this power was too much for any one person whose names wasn’t AUGUSTUS MUTHAFUCKING CAESAR
* So he puts into play once of the most complicated dance moves since James Brown invented the James Brown shuffle.
* PLAY SOME JAMES BROWN – HOT or MY THANG
* First, Tiberius adopted his nephew Germanicus.
* He’s Tiberius’ nephew because he’s the son of Tib’s brother, Drusus.
* But then Augustus adopts both Agrippa Postumus AND Tiberius!
* Now – there’s nothing weird about him adopting a teenage boy.
* But there’s absolutely no precedent for the adoption of a 45 year old former consul who now has two adult sons of his own.
* ALTHOUGH
* I can remember one other weird adoption we’ve talked about a LONG time ago….
* Can you remember?
* He was another Claudian.
* Clodius was adopted when he was 34, by someone much younger than him, so he could become a plebian and therefore become a tribune of the plebs.
* But this is weird too.
* And it gets weirder.
* Germs is arranged to marry Agrippina, daughter of Agrippa and Julia.
* So he’s marrying the daughter of his new father’s ex-wife.
* And as Germs is now Augustus’ grandson – the adopted son of his adopted son – as well as his grand-nephew – and Agrippina is the Augustus’ granddaughter via Julia – then Germs is marrying is own cousin.
* But that’s okay because… Elvis said so.
* KISSING COUSINS
* And Germs’ sister, Livilla, who was supposed to marry Caius, is now going to marry Drusus, Tiberius’ son
* So Germs is now Tiberius’ son and his sister is marrying another of Tiberius’ sons.
* Thanksgiving Dinner must have been confusing.
* Tiberius is staying single because let’s face it – being married to Julia probably turned him gay.
* Postumus is the odd one out.
* Partly because he’s the only one who isn’t the son or grandson of Livia.
* Remember Julia is Augustus’ daughter with Scribonia.
* He doesn’t get a quick promotion, he still has to wait another year before he gets the toga virilis, and Augustus doesn’t become the consul to present him as a man, like he’d done for Postumus’ brothers.
* But then again he never became a consul again.
* Posty also wasn’t given the title of princeps iuventutis like his dead brothers, didn’t get entry into the Senate, etc.
* No talk of marrying him to another member of Augustus’ family.
* He just got adopted by Augustus.
* And could call himself CAESAR.
* Why do you think he missed out on the other benefits?
* Tibby was also now Tiberius Julius Caesar.
* When he announced his adoption in the Senate, Augustus said “I do this for the sake of the res publica.”
* What do you make of that?
* Does it sound like “I don’t really want to but I have to”?
* If he does still hold a grievance against Tibbo, it would be unusual for Aug to air that in public.
* The only time he’s done that is with Julia.
* And Tibbo had kept his head down, been a good boy in the last ten years.
* And Aug’s surviving letters to him in the following years show his normal affection and friendly banter.
* Whatever his personal feelings towards him, in public he shows respect, trust and affection.